I just came back from dinner and it was unequivocally the worst dining experience ever. Okay, I take that back. It was more like a bittersweet experience with lots and lots of bitter and very little sweet. It's the sort of feeling you will probably get when fighting in a war and losing some limbs but after being served the best steak and potatoes during dinner, you seem to forget your disability and somehow manage to overcome the inconvenience of trying to cut a piece of red meat with only one arm. If all this sounds like a big blur to you, head on to Samurai Japanese Restaurant in Hawthorn, Melbourne.
It all started out with eight of us waiting outside the restaurant in the cold for more than thirty minutes. Not only were glimpses of hope of getting in after five minutes constantly shattered, this fiesty lady in a kimono who spoke in horrendous English was taking our orders with an even more horrendous sense of politeness. She was persistently pressuring us into ordering our food and she kept snapping "Excuse me please, no no" every time we attempted to order something on the menu which was excluded from the dinner box set. And after those of us have ordered our dinner box sets, she announced sternly "Dinner box now end".
So we were finally allocated a table after forty five minutes. We walked up this really narrow and windy staircase, which by the way, is just a lawsuit waiting to happen. As we sit at our table, another lady frantically runs in to take away the dishes and glasses on the table. In the process, she stacks a glass onto another glass full of milkshake. Obviously, we had a bit of a show as we all watched the spectacular milkshake fountain display. Still holding the dripping glass, she lets out a huge sigh of dispair as she stares at the floor and sees what looks like the morbid remains of the Marshmallow Man after the Ghostbusters had finished shooting it with their ray guns. We all expected her to promptly clean up the mess but instead, she suddenly became stoned as the milkshake continued to overflow out of the glass onto her pants.
When the food came, so did more drama. We reminded her that three of us have not been served our drinks. When we told her what was missing from the table, she starts to sigh again. Halfway through the kind reminder, she goes into a frenzy and complains that she can't possibly remember three items.
After bringing in our drinks, she brought in a dish and a placed it on the table. When we asked her what it was, she looked like she was going to go berzerk again. To avoid the possibility of her jumping out the window, we told her it was ok and that it was probably the teriyaki beef. She walks out of the room and lets out a huge sigh again. Zi Wei starts to dig in to the teriyaki beef.
Or at least what he thought was the teriyaki beef. Fifteen minutes later, she brings in another dish. Thinking that it was something that someone else on the table had ordered, we proceeded to help ourselves to the real teriyaki beef. Suddenly, crazy waitress lady bursts into the room and yells "You ate! You ate!".
Of course, we suddenly all had a moment of revelation and realised that she had brought something to our table which was meant for another. She then asks if she can charge us for her mistake. My friend looked a bit indignant and muttered "I don't think so".
The look on her face was priceless. It was as if she had just received news that bombs had just been dropped onto Hiroshima again. With tears flooding her eyes, she starts to shove her face into the wall and chant "But you ate" over and over again as she imagines a cauliflower-shaped cloud in the otherwise blue Japanese sky. That ordeal lasted for a solid two minutes. The amount of tension in the room was tremendous. It was so tangible you could almost order it as a side to your sashimi and pack it into a box to bring home and open up whenever you feel like you need a good kick.
After all the hallucination, she walks out of the room. Feeling bad, we call her back in and tell her that we would pay for it. When she brings the bill in, she looked hysterical. Her face was smudged with make up and mascara, and her hair looked like a broken slinky. She looked like she had just climbed out of one of those bunkers which are supposed to shelter you from nuclear attacks.
Doubtless, the food was good. Eating the food was good as well. But the moments in between were not. Whether or not the drama endured was worth the food is arguable. However, seeing as all this can be avoided or diminished at the very least, the smarter option would be just to call up beforehand and order take out the next time.
The phone number is 9819 4858. But quickly hang up the phone if the person on the other line introduces herself as Aiyo.
It all started out with eight of us waiting outside the restaurant in the cold for more than thirty minutes. Not only were glimpses of hope of getting in after five minutes constantly shattered, this fiesty lady in a kimono who spoke in horrendous English was taking our orders with an even more horrendous sense of politeness. She was persistently pressuring us into ordering our food and she kept snapping "Excuse me please, no no" every time we attempted to order something on the menu which was excluded from the dinner box set. And after those of us have ordered our dinner box sets, she announced sternly "Dinner box now end".
So we were finally allocated a table after forty five minutes. We walked up this really narrow and windy staircase, which by the way, is just a lawsuit waiting to happen. As we sit at our table, another lady frantically runs in to take away the dishes and glasses on the table. In the process, she stacks a glass onto another glass full of milkshake. Obviously, we had a bit of a show as we all watched the spectacular milkshake fountain display. Still holding the dripping glass, she lets out a huge sigh of dispair as she stares at the floor and sees what looks like the morbid remains of the Marshmallow Man after the Ghostbusters had finished shooting it with their ray guns. We all expected her to promptly clean up the mess but instead, she suddenly became stoned as the milkshake continued to overflow out of the glass onto her pants.
When the food came, so did more drama. We reminded her that three of us have not been served our drinks. When we told her what was missing from the table, she starts to sigh again. Halfway through the kind reminder, she goes into a frenzy and complains that she can't possibly remember three items.
After bringing in our drinks, she brought in a dish and a placed it on the table. When we asked her what it was, she looked like she was going to go berzerk again. To avoid the possibility of her jumping out the window, we told her it was ok and that it was probably the teriyaki beef. She walks out of the room and lets out a huge sigh again. Zi Wei starts to dig in to the teriyaki beef.
Or at least what he thought was the teriyaki beef. Fifteen minutes later, she brings in another dish. Thinking that it was something that someone else on the table had ordered, we proceeded to help ourselves to the real teriyaki beef. Suddenly, crazy waitress lady bursts into the room and yells "You ate! You ate!".
Of course, we suddenly all had a moment of revelation and realised that she had brought something to our table which was meant for another. She then asks if she can charge us for her mistake. My friend looked a bit indignant and muttered "I don't think so".
The look on her face was priceless. It was as if she had just received news that bombs had just been dropped onto Hiroshima again. With tears flooding her eyes, she starts to shove her face into the wall and chant "But you ate" over and over again as she imagines a cauliflower-shaped cloud in the otherwise blue Japanese sky. That ordeal lasted for a solid two minutes. The amount of tension in the room was tremendous. It was so tangible you could almost order it as a side to your sashimi and pack it into a box to bring home and open up whenever you feel like you need a good kick.
After all the hallucination, she walks out of the room. Feeling bad, we call her back in and tell her that we would pay for it. When she brings the bill in, she looked hysterical. Her face was smudged with make up and mascara, and her hair looked like a broken slinky. She looked like she had just climbed out of one of those bunkers which are supposed to shelter you from nuclear attacks.
Doubtless, the food was good. Eating the food was good as well. But the moments in between were not. Whether or not the drama endured was worth the food is arguable. However, seeing as all this can be avoided or diminished at the very least, the smarter option would be just to call up beforehand and order take out the next time.
The phone number is 9819 4858. But quickly hang up the phone if the person on the other line introduces herself as Aiyo.
posted by ikewauhc at 12:03 am
6 comments
