So I was stopped by IKEA yesterday to get a table lamp in view of the fact that exams are round the corner.

The cat hopped over the cow and jumped over the moon.

Now if you thought that was really abrupt and random, then you should have been in IKEA yesterday afternoon. I was just looking around and suddenly they decide that some Mat Rock band was the way to go. What the hell?! It's IKEA! Swedish! Svenska! How does "Akuuuuuuuu cintamu selebar laut......" in any way portray that?! It had totally no relevance to the theme whatsoever and it sounded devastatingly horrible! Like somebody was castrating a band of pigs or something. Although highly inappropriate and insanely obscene, they would have done a better job if they had brought in out-of-work local grads to dress up as slutty vikings and give every customer who spends above 500 bucks a lapdance. And extra "added" services to people who buy a couch. Or a kitchen cabinet.

Wouldn't have been too hard for them anyway since you don't have to speak much English to be a stripper.