Well so I have realised today that there IS an upside to Chinese New Year. It is the time of the year where nearly everyone leaves for their respective hometowns, leaving the Klang Valley totally void of traffic. It's actually the only festival of the year where outstation people remain in their small towns and wait for us Klang Valley people to populate their streets with cars. What an oddity it must be for them.
I recall being irritated the whole day everyday during the Christmas period leading up to the NYE week. It was painstakingly torturous. Cars from all over. Number plates beginning with letters you never knew even existed. And what the hell is Pontian?!
My. Gosh. They. Were. So. Slow.
Of course, having sat for their driving tests on donkeys, you can't blame them for thinking that 30kmh is breakneck speed. At half this speed, their donkeys' legs would have swung out of their sockets and onto the other side of the road. Wait, what am I talking about - there is only ONE side of the road. So let me rephrase, their donkeys' legs would have swung out of their sockets onto the road. Or pebbles. Or what used to be grass. Whatever they use to pave the way.
Driving behind slow drivers whether or not you are in a hurry is not unlike waiting in a queue for the bathroom behind a guy who cannot decide whether to unzip his fly or to pull his trousers all the way down when you are almost to the point of bursting with nature's liquidy goodness.
It gets worse in parking lots. Having spent their entire life looking for the indian man on a bicycle to pay their parking tickets, they feel rather lost when they are faced with a small piece of a paper and a magnetic strip running along its either side. For a moment, they may even be in absolute bliss, thinking that there's no way anyone is going to be able to tell how long they have parked their car. Of course, until they realise that they are charged a flat rate every time they park. Which would be too late anyway because they would only find that out when people start yelling at them for trying to exit the carpark without first paying at the Autopay station.
Now if you are reading this right now and you're not from the Klang Valley, you can stop looking for my email address on this blog to send me hate mails. For two reasons. One - you won't be able to find it because it's not here. Two - I am probably not talking about you. If you're competent enough to use a computer, I am sure you know that you have to pay for your parking ticket at the Autopay station. And that 5th gear isn't only used by stunt drivers in Hollywood. You probably even plan on the way to the bathroom whether it's zip down or trousers down.
So, please, stay calm.
I recall being irritated the whole day everyday during the Christmas period leading up to the NYE week. It was painstakingly torturous. Cars from all over. Number plates beginning with letters you never knew even existed. And what the hell is Pontian?!
My. Gosh. They. Were. So. Slow.
Of course, having sat for their driving tests on donkeys, you can't blame them for thinking that 30kmh is breakneck speed. At half this speed, their donkeys' legs would have swung out of their sockets and onto the other side of the road. Wait, what am I talking about - there is only ONE side of the road. So let me rephrase, their donkeys' legs would have swung out of their sockets onto the road. Or pebbles. Or what used to be grass. Whatever they use to pave the way.
Driving behind slow drivers whether or not you are in a hurry is not unlike waiting in a queue for the bathroom behind a guy who cannot decide whether to unzip his fly or to pull his trousers all the way down when you are almost to the point of bursting with nature's liquidy goodness.
It gets worse in parking lots. Having spent their entire life looking for the indian man on a bicycle to pay their parking tickets, they feel rather lost when they are faced with a small piece of a paper and a magnetic strip running along its either side. For a moment, they may even be in absolute bliss, thinking that there's no way anyone is going to be able to tell how long they have parked their car. Of course, until they realise that they are charged a flat rate every time they park. Which would be too late anyway because they would only find that out when people start yelling at them for trying to exit the carpark without first paying at the Autopay station.
Now if you are reading this right now and you're not from the Klang Valley, you can stop looking for my email address on this blog to send me hate mails. For two reasons. One - you won't be able to find it because it's not here. Two - I am probably not talking about you. If you're competent enough to use a computer, I am sure you know that you have to pay for your parking ticket at the Autopay station. And that 5th gear isn't only used by stunt drivers in Hollywood. You probably even plan on the way to the bathroom whether it's zip down or trousers down.
So, please, stay calm.
posted by ikewauhc at 3:22 am
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